|
Laur!
Can you handle?
 |
|
Well, I have been meaning to post again, out of my own desire to express myself lol, because there isnt much activity here anyway... but I wound up waiting. I did decide not to apply for the masters and focus on what I truly want. And it turned out the girl I was substituting had to leave the play entirely. I am not happy about the situation she is in, as her father is sick and she has to work on weekends, so she could not perform. It is an odd way to fall into a role, but it is still work, my first work! I had a hard time trying to improve myself and I am still working hard, but I feel much better now about what little I have been able to accomplish as far as developing my character. I always had this feeling of embarassement about the play, perhaps because I felt it too edgy for my own tastes and partly because I thought it could have been written better... more carefully. But now I am getting into it, lol. I am still hesitant about how people will react to it, its a strong play and it is set a bit like a movie, with flashbacks and odd stuff like us getting out of character to introduce a scene and all that, but when everything is there, the music, the lighting, the costumes... the stage, it feels much better. Working in an arena style stage helped a lot, because the original setting of the play was so still, there was no movement, no dynamic... now its more like thos figure skating things lol you have to know the drawing you make on stage so you wont forget any of the marks. Last night was our first presentation! The group of people in the play is really nice. We have had some changes in the cast, but they are all very nice, although working with people with more experience is always a bit intimidating, I guess. It felt good, being on stage. And while I still have many things to work on, I am surprised with the things I don't mind doing lol. Well, tonight there is another one! Wish me luck! |
|
|
Still unemployed LOL I am conflicted. I had the silly idea of mentioning I was considering applying for the master's program (they have a selection exam before and interviews and analyze resumé and projects and etc) and now grandma wants me to do it. But after some reflection and talking... I am thinking, culture is good, it is never enough, but a masters requires dedication, and it pulls you into that career, it gives you stronger roots than uni does... but while I love literature, I want to be an actress, remember? And as I was discussing with a friend last night... is it right to devote the next 2 years of my life to this if it is not what I mean to do? It requires so much energy, that to do it I would surely have to put aside my other ambitions. Follow your bliss, said Joseph Campbell, and goodness that man was wise! Then there is one of my favorite lines from "The Secret", energy flows where attention goes. I feel like in other of those sim games, those online rpgs where depending on which button you click and which choice you make among the offered options it will guide you to a different ending and you did not even realize which was the button you clicked that drove you away from the path you were trying to go. This is a biiiig button. I can apply again any other year, but this pressure not to disappoint family sucks. My mom is sweet, she understands and has faith in me, but it feels bad to disappoint my grandmother. She understood it too or...accepted it though she preferred it another way, but the guilt stays. nhaaaaaaaa *whining sound* Mosto f myfriends who graduated with me and the ones who graduated a semester earlier, none of us wish to pursue a career in teaching and yet, to make money, everyone is teaching. And I might have to myself, but I was so fortunate as to be able to, in the first months after graduation, be able to get invovled with things that I truly care about... that devoting such tremendous energy to a Masters makes me feel...aprehensive. Of course I would try to do my best to pass on the exam, I am a good student and I love the subject I wrote about (and would continue developing), but that would make me, in 20 years or so to be teaching classes on English literature instead of...hopefully be acting on movie adaptations LOL. Well... on different news a few weeks ago I auditioned for a play and was picked as a stand by to one of the characters, but the actress dropped out and now I am official. This is good, it is professional theatre (although it lacks a lot of resources and I am still struggling with believing in the text). It will be a good experience and take me a very decent step forward to being able to get my registration as a professional actress. It will be hard work and it is stressful when you do not feel very confident, but I hope to improve. I am frustrated because the director says I lack energy in scene and that is a biiig amateur bad thing, but I have absolutely no idea of how to fix it... well...we'll see what I can do. Its improving he says... I just need so much study to be able to understand how to feel certain things instead of acting them. After all, acting is acting, it is not feeling alone, it iwll never be 100% natural. But, wish me luck! HUGS,
Laur! |
|
|
LAUR GRADUATEEEEEED! Ok so there is nothing really real inside that velt scroll thing they give us hehehe, we have to go get out diploma at the university in a while, but I am officially a major in Language and Literature in Portuguese and English! Or a Licenciate...or..something. Mwahahaha...what happens when someone like me has a degree to teach? Scary...lol. Well I don't want to teach but there are many things I can do and it was an amazing journey, I loved it so much and I am proud of myself for having overcome the challenges along the way and made all of the amazing friends I made and for having my family's support all of the lovely experiences. And its always nice to have a degree lol |
|
|
DONT YOU ALL THINK i AM BEING A NICER LJ PERSON????????!!!!!!!!! LOL Had lunch with my dad today...and tomorrow is graduatiooooooooon! They almost cancelled it because of the swine flu...but then they didnt so...I guess I'm going to graduate lol. Today I was looking at these online publishers and tried to think of what would happen if I published something. I mean... back when I was like..15 I used to tell my mom 'i'm reading stories about gay elves' and even showed her a drawing I made once of my elf with his half-god dragon guy...but time has passed and mom's memory is not the best (or her attention span isnt..not sure). However she is also a very proud mom lol. I think I can find easy enough ways of saying (this is all hypothetical speaking that amused me, I don't really have anything written that I could consider publishing lol) "hey mom i'm going make some change publishing a story! Yay..yeah..its about..a gay couple" (i'm sure she wouldnt be too pleased, but anyway) But then she'd want to tell the whole family, and I'd have to go and tell them what the story is about. Or even send it to the ones that speak english. And then what? LOL... I don't find myself weird, but I know my family would, especially grandma who is not all that thrilled to begin with (though always supportive) with my wish to be an actress. I see its very common for lots of my online friends to be open about slahs with their families, and while I don't think anything bad would happen, my family used to think of me as odd enough for liking happy potter and being online too much hehehe. So I wonder, am I odd? Is my family odd? Do people exaggerate when they say their families are cool with slash? I know my mom doesnt get in my business and my father is cool with anything, but its those judgemental relatives of lesser degree that make me wonder. Sometimes I rehearse it in my head what I'll say when I have a boyfriend LOL. Maybe I worry too much?
I don't know if I get my point across, but I guess I like being accepted and dislike that although I really like slash its something I preffer not having to talk about to relative or friends (for the most part)... but then again each person has its individuality and I don't see why I'd be talking gay elves to grandma..hehe...ok...i'll stop babbling. Someone reply to me? Ease my mind? lol ok byeeee |
|
|
I meant to post sooner, but things got in the way, so this is the draft I had saved: Soooo today (august 8th) is party day! Its COLD and its raining, but the rain won't do much other than ruin my hair... lets just hope they have heating in that place! Silvery dress day! I am sure this is not LJ subject but to complete the day I just got that time of the month visit and...I am always os paranoid, imagine wearing a party dress...argh. Yesterday was the first class of the course I enrolled in, The Actor and the Camera. It was really nice that the teacher, a really well respected actor, remembered me from the other courses I had taken with him years ago and he was really sweet, calling me by nickname/shortname and all. It was nice to have friends with me there this time.. I will tell you this, I love acting, but around here people are so stereotyped. Theatre actors make a point out of being odd and excessively 'free'..and whenever I took a course alone it was so hard to fit in, this time I have my gang with me lol and its a smaller group. Its still nerve wracking to have to act in front of friends though, perhaps more so. ---- 12th of August: Party was a blast! Dress is fine! It was beautiful, we made a video clip for our friend...she made one for us, of all friendship pictures and stuff. Good food, nice people. Old friends in new dresses..ya know. My grandfather is doing better. He went home Friday, but had to go back to the hospital with pneumonia. However, he is back home again, and seems to be recovering rather well. Today we have a special graduating mass lol I suppose being in a catholic university requires such things. We have certain professors who are being homaged and two of those receive a special name "Paraninfo" and "paraninfo Espiritual" i dont know how to translate that word into English, but it is as if we chose them as our representative teachers and our 'spiritual' one is out philosophy teacher he is giving a small speech and I do love to hear the man talk. He is out of this world. So funny and nice he teaches you without you noticing. Spends most of a class telling funny stories, but when you realize...you know philosophy! Might go out with classmates and teachers afterwords. Special hugs to Louie, who needs some vacation! lol And Tux *hugS*! Miss Ice Lady I apologize for the delay in wishing you HAPPY BIRTHDAY |
|
|
OK i'm going to try again... anyone willing to help me with writers block? I would join one of those fic exchanges now if I knew of any... but I don't ... so uhm someone thorw me something! LOL Nikki once asked me A Lin/Ent fic and I accepted the challenge! LOL...but of course Ent didnt do anything to Lindir. However I lost the fic and she never saw it... anyway... I have that table from the fanfic100 and I imagine perhaps the community doesnt even exist anymore LOL I should go back to that tactic of writing 300 words per day. Nikki right now I feel so sorry that book you sent me once never reached me lol. BUT I am definitely going to start posting random stuff here... so you all please let me know yer opinions of it. Not now though, I'm at uni, dont have my files....ehhhh anyway just trying to keep up with posting here My mini stepper broke...
I ate too much...
hmmm... thats it. |
|
|
To Lauand. How many springs hmmm? lol Lots of birthdays August I see!! |
|
|
Well, I have finished Strange Place in Time! I do not know where to begin, lol but it was delightful! ( review ) |
|
|
Well...it actually has not been all that long since I last updated, but...now I don't have as many things to do lol.
So, today my classmates (former) and I shot a video clip of the perody we made out of a song into something nice for our parents. It is tradition here to show a video at the commencement cerimonies and we tried to be creative, as it usually is just baby pictures (of the people graduating) with the same song playing or a Disney animated movie. Its cute, but ours in unique! lol.
It was fun! I hope it turns out well. The song is in portuguese, but I can still try to post it here when we have it lol...in the meanwhile I give you Laur baby pics..lol
( Laur cutesy piccies lol )
On a second note I have been itching to write so bad but I don't know what. Sometimes I want ot write fanfic...sometimes original...and I don't have ideas for either. SOmetimes I come here and ask for people to give me a challenge...but if anyone has one, do make it challenging and thorough lol..not just 'grass and wine'...I don't want a prompt, I want a challenge! lol To force start the creative juices lol.
And I am posting here something I started once.. And it is not supposed to make a whole lot of sense lol it was something of whatever was in my mind I wrote down...the thing is..
I know it is a fanfic, but I don't know who the elves were I was referring to...lol, any ideas on what I should do to it? hehehe.:
It’s when the sun begins to set that he feels cold the most. The warmth of golden rays begin to fade and be chased away by chilly shadows. The light that brightened the day and brought color to life turns into a romantic but still blue, that to those pale eyes it shows only melancholy. It seems so lonely to him.
It was at Sunset when his love first walked away. Their hands touched gently as he slipped away, touch dying along with the light.
I wish we could dance like we did before.
I have no idea why the spaces arent working... |
|
|
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. I don't see you around much, but I hope you see this. I wish you all the luck, health, love, fortune and accomplishment! And friends too! |
|
|
(Young woman walks to the centre of the stage [enters left] and sits. Props: chair.
She leans forward, runs a hand through her hair, and her smile turns into a frown)
YW - Excuse me? What are you telling me? I spent all of this time dressing up and putting on make up to look nice and the first thing you notice is that my eyebrows look uneven? That when I smile my gum shows more on one side? That I'm fat?! Un-fucking-believable. I really don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I'm always dressing up to impress you, trying to look my best and this is all you can do? No, no, don't try to come with excuses now! I am never looking in your face again! What sort of mirror are you?!
(YM averts her eyes and crosses arms over her chest. A few seconds of silence. Looks up from a different position. Replies to a non-existant interlocutor)
YM - Well...I guess when you look at it from that angle it is not so bad. I do think my hair looks nice...and maybe the eyebrow thing is a trick of light. Cold sunlight is my worst enemy. No...no, no, what am I saying? Just look at this! I try to make it all up and you just keep putting me down! Well I hope you break! And break in front of another mirror so it will reflect you and you'll get all of the bad luck! Will reflect ugly people for the rest of your life!
(YM glares at the mirror)
YM - And don't you dare say I am one of them! Ungrateful bastard! Glass windows are much more friendly. I am so never getting naked in front of you again.
(blows up a lock of hair and stomps out of stage, left)
|
|
|
Well the good news are...everything went great! I wrote that big paper on Jane Austen and presented it to a board of professors. They hardly had any questions (thank goodness lol), just comments and a few suggestions and they said the work was very good, very ambitious and complex and if I deepen my research a bit I could have my MA dissertation just there! ^^. Also I must brag about one of them ssaying I had a flawless pronunciation of English, I do love to hear that! And...at night I went to check if by any change my grade was up already and I got top marks! 10/10. Woohoooo!!! I feel so glad, I did study a lot for this. But it was a plesant study and I'm proud of it. On the sad side, the same day I spent the whole afternoon crying watching Michael Jackson's memorial, my friend calls me and tells me a highschool class mate of ours had died that day. You cannot imagine..or perhaps you can, how shocking it is to know someone your age just died. And it feels os unfair. He was a very energetic boy, wanted to study law and entered our most prestigious university in 1st place. He could be a bit of a bully if he wanted to, and quite opinionated, but he had more sense of justice than a common bully and he became a good classmate, smart and clearly meant to study law given how well he could prove his arguments. Apparently a month ago he was diagnosed with leuchemia and the chemotherapy lowered his immunity, he caught an infection and died. It is horrible to see someone who hasnt lived their full lives die..I do not mean to say the death of children are less terrible, not at all! But for the person in this situation, the one sick, children are so innocent they do not understand sometimes what htey will miss out on, and a young man at 22 knows all he wanted to accomplish and wont be bale to, has all of these questionings about life and death...I cannot even imagine the fear or anger or..helplessness of something coming on so quickly like this. I stop to think of all of the things I want to do and havent done yet, and I am so grateful to be alive and be able to work for those things, but all is uncertain. I myself get anguished thinking of what is and what isnt after death. I rather think it is not a nothing. Falling asleep and never existing again, and seeing young people die really makes me wish there is something more after. I don't really know how to react, but my thoughts are with his family and with him wheever he is. And to end my post on a positive note, a little Zoroastrian (no i am not zoroastrian lol) maxim: Good thoughts, Good words, Good deeds! Nice philosophy eh? Good day to everyone. Laur |
|
|
Well, ok, I know it might be difficult to find volunteers for this one, but is there anyone interested/willing to proof-read an academic 'article' for me? The subject is English Literature, more precisely the representation of reading in Jane Austen's novels. It is an interesting discussion, but I don't need the person to know literature, I am just saying because it is always better to read something you are interested in. My hope here is to get someone who is very knowledgeable in the language to take a look at my text, not only the grammar but perhaps the construction of sentences, what can be more natural...though if it can be more native-like even better lol. The text is written in American English solely because it is the english i first learned,, if I knew properly the differences between British and American I would probably try my hand at British English considering the topic and all, just to feel more like one of those method actors lol...but as I don't master it and its an academic work, I chose not to mess with it. please let me know anyone...I'll promise once I graduate I'll write thank you fanfics...although hopefully not in Jane Austen fandom because the idea of a crossover between Darcy and Colonel Brandon is odd. Though Wentworth and Darcy could be hot...LOL HERESY!!!!!! Ok...anyway... the request is here.
HUGS!!!
Jiving to: |
Kiss and Tel - Adam Lambert | |
|
|
Can one of you ICON-Wise people make me an icon (if I can be pushy and ask for a birthday gift or waterver maybe a still one and one of those that changes pictures???) of Simon's face in the early 4 minutes of that Susan Boyle video for Britain's Got Talent? It's my new definition of what being in love looks like. PUH LEEEEEZE someone!!!!!! I'm totally ignorant about Icons Happy belated Easter and thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday! Laur. |
|
|
Is anyone willing to be challenged into writing a Daeron/Lindir fic? lol, I know the Fandom mood is in comatose, but yesterday Tux provoked this thought into my mind when she asked me to challenge her with a different Rúmil pairing than she was used to writing. Daeron always seemed an interesting character to me, with his troublesome story, he seemed to be be a round character, with some nice layers to explore, but I was never knowledgeable on Silmarillion or any of those texts, so i felt bad about writing on what I did not know. But I am all for AU, too. Happy endings...unless the bad ending has an artistic outlet lol. ANYWAY, being a minstrel and me being obsessive about Lindir...I always liked him...but I am not sure I ever thought of those two together. I don't want to write it thought, I want ot read and as I told tux, be a total fangirl to the story and the author lol. Well...even if no one takes it up, at least its something to talk about...I think. HUGS everyone. |
|
|
Well, Christmas is over, the pounds have piled on and it is time to chase down good ol' Santa for it! lol. The other day I was talking to Tux...and later on to a school friend, and I came to an odd conclusion. I was talking to Tux about how over here we usually have our Christmas celebrations on the 24th, Christmas Eve, waiting for midnight. And in other parts of the world, the most common is to have a Christmas Eve dinner but only open presents on the 25h, or only celebrate it on the 25th. And then something dawned on me that I had never realized before...silly Laur.. All of these Christmas movies about kids trying to sneak out of bed to meet Santa...and it is so easy for us to adjust to that, that I forgot, Brazillians know Santa. LOL Our little disruption of it all, I suppose...but as we celebrate it on the 24th, waiting for midnight, we are all awake when Santa comes by! THAT is why the tradition around here is (when there are kids in the family) that a mand of the family dresses up as Santa...some families even hire a Santa. We know Santa! How very exotic, isn't it? I suppose that justifies why we do not have all that many traumas over finding out there's no Santa...I mean, my grandad used to dress as Santa...he wore a plastic Santa masc (freaky?)and I could see his shorts peekingo ut from under S. C.'s red pants. And that belly was unmistakable! Plus he always went for cigarettes right around the time Santa showed up. Funny thing, I am the youngest in the family, and he still did that for a couple of years, even after I was aware that Santa and Grandpa could never be in the same room due to some laws of phsyics I hadn't been in school for long enough to understand LOL. And I think I saw him dressing up once, or found the clothes on his closet...something like that... But while I believe in it, even if I do not remember those days, I saw Santa...hmm...leave it ous to break some 'taboos' LOL. But still...even when I knew, it was still so much fun to wait for the moment when grandpa would vanish and antecipate when Santa would come up...or then wait for grandpa to come back so we could tell him allabout it. Lol. Well, now I should think of some funky New Year's post to make. |
|
|
Well, here we are at the end of another year! They go by so fast! And once you reach December...I apologize to those who have their birthdays on Dec. but it seems like this month doesn't exist! It's just a countdown to the end of classes, to Christmas and the New Year. Next year, in the middle of the year, I am hoping to graduate from uni, and then I will just cross my fingers to get a job quickly. The kind of job that hopefully pays enough for me to help a bit with the house bills, but also to pay for all of the acting courses I want to take. Oxford School of Drama is a looong shot away from my possibilities for now hehehe, but I can keep studying! I just watched Twilight yesteday and I really liked it. I know the special effects were not the greatest, but being the girl I am, I wasn't really there for the fx lol. And the vampire make up was a bit odd, but it was not odd enough to make Robert Pattinson look bad. I did go into the movie thinking he looked odd, but over-protective reluctant heros always win me over. I am fascinated by these fantasy-like movies, or green-screen movies as I call them. If anyone ever hears of a worldwide casting call for one, let me know! lol. So, what are your plans for Christmas? I have a feeling LJ is almost more dead than the fandom...or maybe people just don't answer much anymore. Anyway, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If get inspired enough I'll try to write a little celebratory story ...but i haven't been very productive as of late. I am seriously considering writing a story based on my mom.. she is hilarious...at least the way she handles her boyfriend is quite hilarious. But I'd make the daughter a teenager...because that is mostly what I behave like at home hehehe. Ok, shutting up now! Joy, health and fortune to all of you!
Laur.
Jiving to: |
Mss Independent - Ne-yo | |
|
|
Well well well...long overdue update... I have been visualizing my acting career quite often heheh and I even had an interview with a cast producer for a tv station here, but I am not sure how that went. I know we start slow...but I am dying to be doing this! I promise I will post the day I have my first job as a real actress (meaning, when I get paid for it lol). I have been deepening my passion for Jane Austen as of late...so if anyone wents to give me a Christmas present or an early birthday present hehehe you know which direction to head. I found this  quite amusing lol. I am also looking forward to when I have the time to read Fanny Burney's books...they seem to be in the same line of romantic things...but lighter perhaps. I am not sure if I am correct...but I think at least one of them si an epistolary novel...i've never read one, but I am a bit more comfortable with a narrator that knows a lot than reading through letters hehe...i love dialogues too...I sound so silly too...i should give it a try. The other day I dreamed I was in bed with some actor...not one that I am fond of or anything...and I had some huge panties on and I cried "Oh, now you'll think I'm some sort of Bridget Jones!" I actually laughed when I woke up... On a different note...I am trying to not be such a jealous friend. I am a bit paranoid...I don't know if its because of how my friends (other friends...former friends actually) treated me when I was little, but I dislike this idea of being too eager and jealous of friends and of their interacting more with each other than me. Not sure what to do about that though. Well...that being said...I sound a bit odd in this post...I hope it will make someone comment on it though hehehe Love you all!!!
Laur |
|
|
Guys, I need some reference bibliography (actually, at this point probably just websites because I don't have the time to order the books and wait for them to get here) about a couple of things. I am wrting a research about myths of the English world, and I need some theory basis as to how a person can become a myth, because all of the theory I have found so farm ainly focuses in the idea of myths as stories of the origin and creation of the world or certain things of a culture. Also, I need to understand the true difference between a myth and a legend. I understand the difference they are supposed to have, legends being based on historical facts and myths of belief, but it is hard for me to understand why there is the Legend of King Arthur, or Legend of Robin Hood, but King Arthur and Robin Hood themselves are considered myths (hero-myth). So if anyone can help me if they know anything about this, I appreciate it so very much!!! |
|
|
Well hello hello! How are you all, my darlings? I hope I can hear from all of you. I am on the verge of a new semester at Uni, getting closer and closer to the scary practicoms and the graduation. But I am trying - not too successfully so far - to focus just on the present moment and not suffer by antecipation. ( cutting so it won't be so long ) It was really hard, much harder than I expected it would be to act for TV. Usually acting for Theatre is regarded as being above others by some critics, and I understand that, once it is the 'original' form, but all I had until now was training in theatre (not a truly vast one yet, mind you), and I had not idea how hard it was to tone it down, have control and yet be a little more carefree with your acting (not doing an 'interpretation') and your text than you can be with theatre. I was a great experience for me. ( check inside! ) Onto a different topic, I like this whole thing of dream interpretation, and I have had some lively dreams lately...but last night's in particular struck me as very vivid. ( right in front of us there was this HUGE, beautiful tree, but it was all frozen, and not like with snow over it but glass-like ice forming those stake like forms that I am too lazy to go look up in English right now. And Also sort of frozen mid-air there was a polar bear, with his jaw wide open and his fangs showing ) Let me know how you all are doing!!!
*hugs*,
Laur |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
laur_melyanna's journal