Laur!

The other day I was talking to Tux...and later on to a school friend, and I came to an odd conclusion.

I was talking to Tux about how over here we usually have our Christmas celebrations on the 24th, Christmas Eve, waiting for midnight. And in other parts of the world, the most common is to have a Christmas Eve dinner but only open presents on the 25h, or only celebrate it on the 25th. And then something dawned on me that I had never realized before...silly Laur..

All of these Christmas movies about kids trying to sneak out of bed to meet Santa...and it is so easy for us to adjust to that, that I forgot, Brazillians know Santa. LOL Our little disruption of it all, I suppose...but as we celebrate it on the 24th, waiting for midnight, we are all awake when Santa comes by!

THAT is why the tradition around here is (when there are kids in the family) that a mand of the family dresses up as Santa...some families even hire a Santa. We know Santa! How very exotic, isn't it? I suppose that justifies why we do not have all that many traumas over finding out there's no Santa...I mean, my grandad used to dress as Santa...he wore a plastic Santa masc (freaky?)and I could see his shorts peekingo ut from under S. C.'s red pants. And that belly was unmistakable! Plus he always went for cigarettes right around the time Santa showed up. Funny thing, I am the youngest in the family, and he still did that for a couple of years, even after I was aware that Santa and Grandpa could never be in the same room due to some laws of phsyics I hadn't been in school for long enough to understand LOL.

And I think I saw him dressing up once, or found the clothes on his closet...something like that...

But while I believe in it, even if I do not remember those days, I saw Santa...hmm...leave it ous to break some 'taboos' LOL. But still...even when I knew, it was still so much fun to wait for the moment when grandpa would vanish and antecipate when Santa would come up...or then wait for grandpa to come back so we could tell him allabout it. Lol.

Well, now I should think of some funky New Year's post to make.

Next year, in the middle of the year, I am hoping to graduate from uni, and then I will just cross my fingers to get a job quickly. The kind of job that hopefully pays enough for me to help a bit with the house bills, but also to pay for all of the acting courses I want to take. Oxford School of Drama is a looong shot away from my possibilities for now hehehe, but I can keep studying!

I just watched Twilight yesteday and I really liked it. I know the special effects were not the greatest, but being the girl I am, I wasn't really there for the fx lol. And the vampire make up was a bit odd, but it was not odd enough to make Robert Pattinson look bad. I did go into the movie thinking he looked odd, but over-protective reluctant heros always win me over. I am fascinated by these fantasy-like movies, or green-screen movies as I call them. If anyone ever hears of a worldwide casting call for one, let me know! lol.

So, what are your plans for Christmas? I have a feeling LJ is almost more dead than the fandom...or maybe people just don't answer much anymore.

Anyway, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If get inspired enough I'll try to write a little celebratory story ...but i haven't been very productive as of late. I am seriously considering writing a story based on my mom..

she is hilarious...at least the way she handles her boyfriend is quite hilarious. But I'd make the daughter a teenager...because that is mostly what I behave like at home hehehe.

Ok, shutting up now! Joy, health and fortune to all of you!
Laur.

I have been visualizing my acting career quite often heheh and I even had an interview with a cast producer for a tv station here, but I am not sure how that went. I know we start slow...but I am dying to be doing this! I promise I will post the day I have my first job as a real actress (meaning, when I get paid for it lol).

I have been deepening my passion for Jane Austen as of late...so if anyone wents to give me a Christmas present or an early birthday present hehehe you know which direction to head. I found this quite amusing lol. I am also looking forward to when I have the time to read Fanny Burney's books...they seem to be in the same line of romantic things...but lighter perhaps. I am not sure if I am correct...but I think at least one of them si an epistolary novel...i've never read one, but I am a bit more comfortable with a narrator that knows a lot than reading through letters hehe...i love dialogues too...I sound so silly too...i should give it a try.

The other day I dreamed I was in bed with some actor...not one that I am fond of or anything...and I had some huge panties on and I cried "Oh, now you'll think I'm some sort of Bridget Jones!" I actually laughed when I woke up...

On a different note...I am trying to not be such a jealous friend. I am a bit paranoid...I don't know if its because of how my friends (other friends...former friends actually) treated me when I was little, but I dislike this idea of being too eager and jealous of friends and of their interacting more with each other than me. Not sure what to do about that though.

Well...that being said...I sound a bit odd in this post...I hope it will make someone comment on it though hehehe

Love you all!!!
Laur

I am on the verge of a new semester at Uni, getting closer and closer to the scary practicoms and the graduation. But I am trying - not too successfully so far - to focus just on the present moment and not suffer by antecipation.

( cutting so it won't be so long )

It was really hard, much harder than I expected it would be to act for TV. Usually acting for Theatre is regarded as being above others by some critics, and I understand that, once it is the 'original' form, but all I had until now was training in theatre (not a truly vast one yet, mind you), and I had not idea how hard it was to tone it down, have control and yet be a little more carefree with your acting (not doing an 'interpretation') and your text than you can be with theatre.

I was a great experience for me. ( check inside! )

Onto a different topic, I like this whole thing of dream interpretation, and I have had some lively dreams lately...but last night's in particular struck me as very vivid.

( right in front of us there was this HUGE, beautiful tree, but it was all frozen, and not like with snow over it but glass-like ice forming those stake like forms that I am too lazy to go look up in English right now. And Also sort of frozen mid-air there was a polar bear, with his jaw wide open and his fangs showing )

Let me know how you all are doing!!!
*hugs*,
Laur

It is actually a re-evaluating thati s compared to the others I took since entering the gym, and I was so happy to find that all of my measurements went down! I list about 10 cm from the belly and 6 from my hips (and hips are tough stuff). But I was especially happy with how my body fat % lowered. I lost 4 kilos in a total, but I actually lost 5 kilos of fat, which means I gained one of lean weight (muscle)and the trainers there said that is pretty impressive considering the time it took to change. So that means my % of body fat is 5% down, which is a big deal, health wise especially.

Also my flexibility is a bit better too. yay. I still have a way to go, but it is so good to see results on the way, it really motivates you.

Other than that...take a look at a pic of my new lovely, wonderful, warm and fluffy and soft pair of socks.

But most awesomest (lol) is the fact that I got to participate in that local tv series I told you about once before!!!

The last time it had been a very very small thing, just passing by, and the scene got cut because the sponsor wanted a new location. Since then they called me for an audition for their actor bank (nefore it was just for extra stuff). And just my luck...the 'headquarters' of the production company caught fire and they had to have a new round of auditions, but not me! My audition tape was safe because it was still inside the camera the casting director took home. Woooof. Signs of the universe lol.

Afterwards it took us a while ot make it happen. Whenenver they'd call I had some major exam I couldn't miss out on, but finally it worked.

My character didn't have a name, I was Girl 1 lol but I did have lines! And it was an awesome experience, rehearsing the scene and having marks and angles and this and this...it was so cool. And it is such a good exercise to reassure in me my certainty that this is what I'm meant for. It was so exciting!!!! 

It's just al ocal TV show, but it is surprisingly popular and I had no idea until a while ago when I found out my entire family watches it, lol. And its always a start, right? Gotta start somewhere, get experience, study! And I got a certificate that I participated in the episode as an actress. I have a certificate as an actress! That's sooo amazing. Because I don't feel comfortable saying "I'm an actress" while that is not my stablished profession, but the certificate says so! Whooooo.

Hear it Universe? I'm an ACTRESS!!! hehehehe

I really hope that when they air (in about two months, they shoot in advance) I'll get to snag the scene online and show people. But mostly because I want to keep it and I don't have a VCR anymore, nor a DVD that record from TV or Tivo or anything like that lol.

Well hello!!!! Laur has emerged from the world of the dead after being burried by piles of books, papers, exams and days of fever and wounded knees and uninteresting stuff.

Finally things are calming down, the cough is going away, and my internet is back on, I've been without it at home for 2 weeks. A good thing came out of it though. I am usually really desperate whenever something happens to my pc, because it usually costs a lot of money and it means me not having internet, but I realized I am learning to live without internet or the virtual community a bit. I mean..on the downside, I don't get to talk much to my friends online, but I don't feel too guilty about that, I didn't neglect anyone, people have their own things too. 

I miss hearing from Nikki and Vesta specially. I'm going to try and catch up on your LJ's and make myself a present person.

Anyway as I said, I still like rping every now and then, and its fun to chat if anyone eventually pops up, but I don't have that desperate need to use all of my free hours online, to go to sleep in the wee hours of night if I don't feel like staying up. I guess I should partly thank the calm of the fandom...which will only last until The Hobbit springs up, but life is good and I am proud of myself for having spend good three weekends without internet and not really minding it. Though I did miss our boys Louie! lol.

other than that, not many news. I mean, of little things, we are always full, but nothing I can think of as worth telling hehehe.

I'm doing quite well with my grades this semester...and next semester unfortunately we start the practicom of our course, which means teaching...bleh. Beautiful profession, but not for me.

After months of not getting our scholarship aid money we finally got paid, yay! 

Oh, the arm of a guitar fell on my mp4...so part of that money i just got will be destined to a new one hehehe.

nhaaaa...ok i've got nothing else to say for now.

love!
Laur.

So on the news:

Here where I live the law says when a divorced couple has a child, the one responsible for paying the alamony should do so until that child graduates from university (so long as it's before 24 years of age). However, as I turned 21, my father decided to cut my alamony in half.

( more venting inside )
Love you all!
Hugs.

 wrote this huge update post, but as the animal that I am, I left the page open and went to do other stuff, so my pc froze, IE closed up and I lost the post hehehe.

SO let’s try again:

To make good use of Agie’s gift I am going to have to be a good “poster” from now on lol. By the way, can anyone tell me some cool features of the LJ paid account? So far I only know about the massive number of user pics and that I get to change Icons without all of the icons on my previous posts changing to the current one, which is awesome.

All right, I have a French test tomorrow(this is old news since I took so long to post this, but i'm keeping the original text heheh), and speaking of which, did I ever mention I have a crush on my 1^st French teacher? Ugh. He is no longer my teacher, so with a few months of not thinking or seeing him things settled a bit, but last week we asked him for a private lesson because we are a bit confused (our current teacher is a really sweet guy, but he is French, so basically he is teaching his native language to non-native speakers, which is SO much harder than to teach a language you had to go through the same processes as your students to learn).

And Lucas (just a note: here our custom is to address teachers by their first name. Not due to impoliteness, but because the teachers usually request it, feeling uncomfortable when being addressed by their last names or as Professor or whatever)..anyway, so the one I have my crush on is a really good teacher, he has some amazing didactics and it is not just me saying that. And he is young (29), which also makes it easier for him to communicate and relate to us.

He is not as broad-shoulder or bad-boy looking as my heartthrob Sawyer, lol, but he is so cute, light brown hair, blue eyes, so intelligent, already a psychologist, speaks four languages (and for languages students such as myself that is such a turn on hehehe)…and he curses a lot, and has some witty comments to offer all the time. But of course, he has a girlfriend. Bleh.

 
That is just as well, I suppose. Of course some romantic movement in one’s life is not a bad thing, but I want to focus on my goals, and they are some big goals that a partner could get in the way of. For one, I intend to go study abroad and perhaps live abroad for a while, and if that is not what your partner wants or is able to do at the moment with you, it creates doubts instantly. Second, I want to pursue my desire to work as an actress, and at least over here, unless you are involved with post-modern, psychodelic theatre plays people interpret it as “I want to be famous”. Also, I suppose after I graduate people will expect me to be responsible, get a job and take on some paths that would be too restrictive to take this leap of faith into acting.

That is why being abroad would help me. My family is supportive, gladly, but they also want me to keep my feet on the ground. Yet they are all supportive of me studying in Europe at some point, and I guess with some distance I would feel free to go after these things.

It is not that I do not appreciate the industry we have here in Brazil, but it is my dream to study somewhere else, and also I have a true interest in what I hear of European cinema, but I must admit I also have a soft spot for all things BBC hehe and I am SO going to be there some day.

But I still lack a lot of training. As you all know I did drop out of Drama university here because it was just too much to keep up with, two university courses in different institutions plus the research scholarship that takes up our mornings…but I am in peace with that decision, even though there are some details about it that I know I could have resolved without such a rush.

So my current wish is to take the One Year Acting course at the Oxford Drama School. I have looked into a lot of courses (though I could probably look into some more, never hurts), but this one really stood out to me.

The Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama seems like a dream, but it is rather expensive and just as most college courses, it lasts three years and does not leave you much time to get a job to support yourself. So the one year course caught my attention, for being meant for people over 21 and who already finished their college studies (which made me stop feeling too old to be only starting at this) and their curriculum seems great. Also it was nice to see they help their students to get their first works after graduating and have their final trimester aiming to showcase these students. Having good contacts and getting an initial push is essential for anyone starting out in any career, and I do not see that concern in our schools here, nor in any of the courses I looked up in the U.S.

It is quite a bit of money to save, AND I once that is done I still have to be admitted through some rigorous auditions, but I rather take it one step at a time, try and do some smaller courses here whenever I can, and when the time is up I’m sure I’ll be prepared. Winning the Lotto wouldn’t do any harm though!

So, as I was saying, I can wait to get myself a British/Welsh/Scottish boy toy once I’m in the U.K. Hehehe.

On the side notes:

I have dropped a few pounds…or better ELIMINATED them. I still have some way to go, but it is amazing what 8 pounds can do to boost your self-esteem. It’s really great.

Last week (actually before that, on the 12^th), I belatedly celebrated my birthday with friends at a bar/restaurant, and it was really nice. I managed to mix high school and uni friends and everyone seemed to have a good time. And pretty much everyone showed up, which was awesome. I’ll try to post some pics here if I manage to make the LJ cut work…it has been refusing to work for me as of late.

Hmmm what else…I ordered a Timbaland CD, woohooo! And new earphones, because all of the earphones we have are only working on one side, lol. I also bought a book with slangs of the English language, both American and British I suppose.

I really love trying to learn and pick up new accents, so if you guys have any tips for me or any idea of a fun accent to learn, let me know!

Oh, btw, can anyone do a manip of me with Candis Cayne’s hair? LOL Hs anyone ever seen more beautiful hair? I love Nicole Scherzinger’s hair too, but Candis’ is pure glam.

love you all!!! Huggles

Feeling all:	peaceful
Jiving to:	Relax - Mika

Lindir is always testing the faith of others in him.

<lj-cut text= Halloween Wishes>

Title: Halloween Wishes

Author: Laur Melyanna

Rating: (the old PG-13)

There was a disapproving sigh for the tenth time in the last hour.

“I really don’t think this is right, Lin”

“For the last time, stop calling me that! Nobody calls me that.” The temperamental youth cried.

“But I thought it was a logical nickname for ‘Lindir’, it sounds nice. Can’t then just I call you like that?” The dark haired elf received a glare.

“No…”

Another sigh from the brunette.

“Lin…I mean, Lindir its not very nice of you to be doing something like this you know? I mean, I know vampires are more mythical than real, but still, feigning to be in danger to scare others is a poor joke” Herian berated even though he helped hold his friend’s hair up so he could paint a bite mark and smudge fake blood over his pale skin.

Lindir made an annoyed sound. “This is the perfect day to do it. It’s the one day they cannot give me a hard time for it.”

“You mean you have done it before?” Herian let go of the minstrel’s hair and stepped away, staring out the window. “It’s really an act of bad faith, did you know? People will worry for you and they will be hurt.” He tapped his fingers over the stone sill of the window of Lindir’s room.

“Herian! It’s vampires! I do not care how much magic there is in the world and how they are said to really exist, no one has ever been bitten by a vampire or talked to one or ever even seen one! It’ll be their own ridicule if they actually worry too much.” The slender elf vainly looked at himself in the mirror, admiring how good he looked so pale, and even with torn clothes and blood dripping from his neck. “I still believe it’s an invention of Men, so they can still hope to become immortal in some way.”

Herian laughed. “You are ridiculous sometimes. Lin…dir…how many would hope to become living dead creatures, do you think? Come on now, why don’t you just wait for the costume ball to wear this outfit…”

“It’s a horrible outfit, Herian, in a ball I will look worthy of a ball. This is a prank. Don’t be so uptight and boring! You are new here, how can you make friends if you will not even socialize?”

The dark haired elf smiled sarcastically and shook his head. “I suppose helping you feign to have been attack is great socializing” Herian had a gentle voice, deep and soothing, and despite how he could not seem to stop criticizing, Lindir enjoyed hearing him

“Well” Lindir made a little indignant ‘humpf’ sound. “I’m a very social and influential person; I can introduce you to people. Now help me fix this here…”

 “I wonder if these people will still want dealings with you if you keep scaring them. Honestly, Lindir, vampires or no vampires, one day you might get in trouble, or get hurt – the Valar forbid – and no one will believe your cries for help”

The white haired elf growled. “Yes, yes I KNOW. I’ve been told so for the last hundred years and I have survived thus far. Come on, soon enough I’ll settle down, find a lover and become boring like you. Let me have some fun” He rolled his green eyes and held a fun look as he gazed into Herian’s eyes. “You are too handsome to be so serious, my friend…”

He beamed triumphantly at the slow, reluctant smile that surfaced on his friend’s face. The bard had always had a way with persuading people.

                                         ********

The first time he played a prank that year he created chaos from the worry that rose in people. Perhaps he had been quiet for far too long, but worried eyes followed him everywhere and frantic healers examined him. People waited outside to know of his state to the point of almost making him feel guilty.

All along Herian was beside him, with a frown of disapproval, but always there. He was an odd friend. Supposedly the best type of friend, he let Lindir make his own choices and did not begrudge him for them even when they went against his own beliefs. Yet Lindir sometimes hoped he would do something about it.

The second time that year that he chose to play a prank he gave it a different motive, although he was not quite through with exploring the fear people had of those angels of night.

“Lindir, this is disrespectful. You do not deserve respect for what you do” Elladan had cried. “You are jerk”

 Elrohir had even punched him.

The lord of the house just shook their heads disappointedly in a way that stung more than a fist connecting with his eye.

“I thought it would be something like this, but I still wanted to give you a vow of trust. Now it’s over; if you ever need help, truly, you will have to prove how serious it is first” Lord Elrond spoke quietly from his imposing height and thundering voice. And even though with each word Lindir felt smaller and smaller, he did not seem to regret.

“I told you, you would pay for this some day. It is not that they don’t believe you anymore, but they are hurt” Herian said, watching closely the way Lindir seemed to shrug off the hurt and hurtful looks he had seen. “I think you are insecure or needy of affection in some way”

“What?!” Lindir stood up furiously from where he had sat sprawled in his latest scene of an accident. “Are you going to turn on me too now?” The minstrel laughed. “No, no you will not, you cannot, can you? You depend on me too much. You live off my tricks, of my vampiric encounters” He snorted. “Because you have no fun in your own life”

“Lindir…” Herian’s voice asked him to stop before he said anything too hurtful to be forgiven. “You don’t know what you are saying. You are asking for disgrace. Have you not had your fun?”

No. He hadn’t. He had done it again, but this time in a smaller scale. He tricked Herian and only him. He was cruel, he acted out his despair and pain at having been chased by orcs, he fainted and grew limp in the arms of the desperate elf, only to peek out from one eye and laugh at him hysterically.

He was not sure if it was the end of yet another friendship, but no one had ever been as hurt by him as Herian, he knew it. It went to the point where anger only lets you make threats with no sense.

“You’ll get what you asked for” Herian had hissed through clenched teeth as he strode away furiously. And it seemed like so long ago.

Perhaps he had grown to like the dark hired elf more than he had imagined; his deep voice and piercing eyes that almost clashed with how serious and kind he was in nature.

The minstrel withdrew from contact other people. There were no more pranks, but hardly any more performances either, and that did worry his friends; yet they kept it to themselves. It hurt too much to be made fun of by someone you care about.

It was in this withdrawal that Lindir took to wandering alone at night. It was then that he started seeing shadows; he swore he was being followed, observed, but no one believed him. Even when All Hollow’s Eve came he did not take part in the celebrations. The people of Imladris ignored it, took it as some other twisted way of worrying them, but it was no prank.

It was on that night that Lindir fell to desperation. The trees seemed to grow closer together and stick their branches out to hold him and hurt him. The ground was uneven and full of stones, bats and night birds sang a haunting song as the wind blew fiercely, throwing dirt into his eyes and leaves and twigs against his face.

It was then that he heard the howls of wolves… he prayed it were wolves and not wargs. He prayed they would not come his way even though he could hear the sound growing stronger and their paws ruffling the fallen leaves.

He could hear the celebration nearby, and soon enough the festive elves could hear Lindir’s screams of fear, screams for help. His voice was raw and desperate, and the music came to a halt. Elves looked at each other fearfully, with worry, but their pride spoke louder this time. It was far too much coincidence for Lindir to truly need them for the first time on a Halloween night.

Someone cracked a joke and the mood lightened, the music resumed and drowned the minstrel’s cries.

The howls became part of the song, and Lindir was deaf to anything but the sound of his own thundering heart. Until the howls stopped.

The minstrel gasped from where he had crouched on the ground against a tree trunk. His beautiful robes were torn, dirty, his face smeared with filth and dirty, tiny leaves threaded into his hair as a work of the wind.

He looked up fearfully, his eyes widening as they noticed how the wolves, who had been too close to him, retreated hurriedly, with whimpers of fear.

Lindir breathed hard, heavily as he stood slowly, still hesitant, staring off to where the beasts had scampered off. A million things swirled inside his mind. His foolishness, the truth of the words of everyone who had told him to care for what he wished for, that one day he would need help and not get it.

He was lost in thought enough to only listen a harsher crushing of leaves, of steps, when a body pressed against his back and a palm was pressed to his chest to keep him in place.

“Did you truly think that you would mock our name…pray for danger, and go unnoticed? We are kind creature, Elf… we would not ignore you...”

There was a sneer in that voice, a winning smirk, a lewd undertone, a voice he more felt than heard over the loud gusting of the wind.

His lips trembled and he grew pale. Lindir knew, oh he knew exactly what kind of creature had come to ensure his empty threats were made real. He was sure of it from the scent of blood already in the air, and the way his hair was removed from his neck, tearing a whimper from him.

There were no screams. The shock was such, that Lindir’s only struggle was the pure and complete tension of his body. He was paralyzed. He could only close his eyes in desperate resignation as the sharp puncture into his neck, draining life away from him, offering him a new kind of immortality, of lifeless existence.

He felt the warm essence of him be drained away, his limbs growing week and soft in the arms of his claiming vampire. His eyes rolled back and his lips quivered with moans of pain. And then it was over. He was still alive, but barely. His heart was no longer thudding, but struggling for the next beat, and it was then that he heard it; in that deep voice he had missed so:

“Now you will be mine forever, Lin”

Green eyes widened in pure shock as his heart beat for the last time.

And Yaaaay for the Hobbits movie that is going to give an electro shock therapy to the fandom! eheheheh